Feeling Yellow....

It's one of those summer rainy nights and I'm sitting here alone. My mind is all over the place as I ponder on whether or not this will be my life for the rest of my life. Why am I here alone, I ask myself? Although, I seek my mind for an answer, nothing seems to come to light.

So my fingertips go and begin to scroll the social media sites for hope. I know I can always go there and find a couple who look like life's just so grand and all is well. Then, I go back to questioning why am I still single?

I don't fit into what the stereotypes are for woman, I mean I am a beautiful woman but I don't look like what social media has deemed a dime piece or whatever the sling is for a particular body type that is. Perfect body, what is that?

So, if a woman has had children and has been working to raise her kids and frankly hasn't had the means to pay for a trainer or gym membership let alone have the energy to attend a gym after a long day and homework; she's just not someone who is worthy of love? That's the picture I get from scrolling social media.

Why is it that these men aren't put to the same stereotypes that they put woman too? and why is it that a man who may be a business man, wouldn't give a woman like me with kids the time of day? It's almost as if I'm some kind of unwanted once valued item.

I've met a few, and being that in today's world the first of many questions in the dating arena is, " do you have kids?". So early on after I tell them yes, the conversation is pretty much over. I'm not even given a chance to see how I am as a mother, or how whether or not I'm intellectually compatible, or what my dreams and aspirations are. Non of those things even get hit on because at the moment kids are mentioned they've already exited the scene mentally.

Oh, then there's the one's who think that oh... she has kids.. I can hit that.. that's a quick hook-up. As if I have no kind of morals..smh... the spectrum out here is so either too left field or too right field and it seems as if there is no middle.

Let me hear your side of things... because for me, I'm at the point of just giving up!

"In my thoughts" speak kieya

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